Originally Posted by HalvOnHorseracing
Sooner or later I had to do this post.
I've lost 40 lbs in the last year due to a very rare form of leukemia. I was told I had only six months left and was advised I wouldn't be very functional for most of them.
Then an amazing thing happened. The research center that did the bone marrow biopsy to confirm the diagnosis called and said a new chemo drug was being tested. The testing had only been going on six months so there was very little information on dosage, effectiveness etc. The researchers were anxious to get me started, mainly because I had the highest levels of bone marrow mast cells they had seen. They figured if they could arrest my deterioration, the drug would work on just about anyone.
I was told a lot of getting better was up to me. I had a lot of protocols to follow and within three days I was being overwhelmed by the drug and the cancer. Constant nausea. Sleeping 12 hours a day. Eating sparsely and having to give up some of my favorite foods because the smell made me nauseous. So the 40 pounds I lost, I lost the hard way.
For a few months I could hardly move, and the idea of exercising became ludicrous. After five months of misery I decided to go off the drug. I talked to my doctor and he said, before you quit let's see if cutting the dose in half makes you feel better. After about a month I noticed my energy level start to increase, and I was motivated enough to walk around the block. Improvement was slow, but I could tell when I could push myself harder.
I made it to the NHC, finishing 119th out of 695 entries, but it took a lot of my energy and by the time I got home I lost a lot of the motivation provided by the NHC. I finished in the top 20% in a couple of other contests, but I eventually stopped handicapping and doing my blog. The disease and the chemo made me apathetic and moody, and I stayed that way until my 5th bone marrow biopsy (a miserable procedure where they drill into your hip bone and extract marrow) and 8th MRI (the one where you're in a coffin for an hour holding your breath most of the time.) The medical staff agreed that there was a remarkable improvement since I started on the drug, even though I still felt crappy because of the drug's hold on my body. I asked how much longer I'd have to be on the drug. Naturally nobody knows, but they've asked me to keep dosing for another year. It will be a long year.
I started pushing harder to get back my strength and stamina. I felt confident enough that that I could do well enough to do my basketball officials training camp (I do High School varsity ball). It was three of the toughest days of my life, but I got through it. It was the first time in a year that I believed there was a hope for a lot more years. I could immediately tell I was lighter - I felt like I was floating down the court. I wore down over the three days, but I did it. It was a great personal triumph.
The chemo also affects your brain. Even though it is a misnomer, chemo brain is the common term used by cancer patients to describe thinking and memory problems that can occur after cancer treatment. I can tell you it is pretty embarrassing to look at a numerical keypad and have no idea what your telephone number is. It's a very weird feeling, especially since I pride myself on having a good memory for all sorts of things.
I think the good days are starting to outweigh the bad and I hope to get back to a normal life, a full basketball schedule and regeneration of my love of handicapping. Some weeks I wouldn't even look at a racing form, mostly because I didn't give a shit. I hope that changes soon. I'm taking baby steps toward qualifying for my second NHC. I'LL BE AT THE BELMONT NEXT WEEK. I'm golfing, although I have to cover myself because the chemo leads to a nasty sunburn after 10 minutes in the sun. I'm not used to looking ghostly.
Anyway, the thread currently seemed to be focused on losing weight. I lost 40 pounds the hard way. The really hard way.
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