|
Satire from John Semmens:
Dems May Try to Acquire Nukes
Saying she was impressed with “Kim’s ability to wrap Trump around his finger,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi attributed it to “having a nuclear bomb in his pocket,” and vowed that the Democratic Party will “seek ways of acquiring one or more similar devices to give us more punch in our negotiations with the President.”
Characterizing the recent Singapore summit between Kim and Trump as “as horrible a ‘deal’ as one could imagine,” Pelosi ticked-off the highlights of what she insisted was “a net loss for America and the world. First, Trump shook Kim’s hand. This show of manners to a brutal dictator was totally uncalled for. Second, the US and Korean flags were standing side-by-side—implying a repulsive equality that no previous president would ever have tolerated. Third, Trump discontinued US and South Korean military maneuvers for the time being. Fourth, Trump promised to assist North Korea improve its economy in exchange for denuclearization.”
The Minority Leader expressed pessimism over the ultimate results of Trump’s negotiation with Kim contending that “its deviation from the bribery policy that has worked so well since the 1990s is a serious error that could prove costly. Nonetheless, though America may suffer from Trump’s blunder it has opened our eyes to the best way for dealing with Trump. We have some contacts with Uranium One and may be able to work out an arrangement with Iran—another ally cultivated by President Obama—to develop ore into a viable weapon for us to use against Trump going forward.”
Pelosi wasn’t the only one to find fault with Trump’s summit behavior. CNN’s Jim Acosta was so upset over being excluded from the one-on-one meeting between Trump and Kim that he had a fit in which he maniacally screeched and threw his own feces at the two leaders. Acosta later told his network colleagues “if they’re not going to let me in the f*cking meeting I had to do something to show them how I felt about that.” Press Secretary Sarah Sanders said “we’d pull his credentials if seeing him make a fool of himself weren’t so funny.”
|
